A Slight Change In Cadence
A small tweak in the essay newsletter for a better creative future
Hey Friends,
The etymology of the word essay means to attempt.
Yet lately, I’ve felt like I’ve done anything but attempt these essays.
I’ve been rushing them out as fast as I can in order to meet the arbitrary self-imposed Thursday deadline. I look back on my writing and see that there are so many ideas I could have continued to explore, develop and edit.
Publishing these essays every week means I’ve picked the low-hanging fruit and not bothered to climb up the tree to get to the sweet-tasting fruit. I’ve sacrificed the quality of ideas for the quantity of half-baked thoughts.
It would often play out like this:
Idea or question for an essay
Research, buy books and start reading
Write down rough thoughts
See Thursday deadline and panic write
Realise I won’t be able to finish and edit in time
Abandon the essay to write a new or shorter piece on Wednesday evening or Thursday morning
Never return to the original essay
My Google Drive is a graveyard of unfinished essays.
I had a valid reason for wanting to publish weekly. I wanted to prove to myself that writing wasn’t just a temporary interest. It’s safe to say after writing online for almost two years, I love to write. I wake up every day excited to write. And my day feels wrong if I don’t put pen to paper. If I had to estimate how many words I’ve written in the last two years, I’d say it’s somewhere between 250,000 to 500,000 words.
Don’t get me wrong, publishing every week has its pros. It’s a low-risk strategy. It keeps me accountable, and I stay in touch with you at a regular cadence.
But after thinking a lot about how I want to improve my writing craft, how I want to further develop my ideas and how I loved the ambitious yet brutal ventures of writing long-form essays at university, I’ve decided I will no longer be publishing regularly on a Thursday.
Essays are ambitious and risky. And it’s in my nature to always take a risk. When it comes to exploring ideas for an essay, you often wander far off the original vision. It takes you down a lot of deep rabbit holes, and this can lead to a lot of confusion, disorientation, and uncertainty.
I know that doesn’t sound appealing, but that’s the environment I thrive in. I revel in the fact that the voyages I take can lead to a lot of dead ends. I want to wander down different rabbit holes and end up in a place I never meant to explore. I want to claw my way through the uncertainty, failing, but knowing I gave it my all.
I came across a clip from Rick Rubin that summed up how I felt best.
Rick Rubin is now talking:
People think, “Just because I like it doesn’t give it any value.”
As an artist, if you like it, that’s all the value.
The success comes when you say “I like this enough for other people to see it.” Not “other people like it, so it is successful.” That doesn’t mean anything.
Other people liking it is out of your control. All that is in your control is making the thing to the best of your ability.
It’s all an offering to God. And if you’re making an offering to God you’re not thinking about “Oh, what’s the budget” or “I hope this segment of the audience will like it.”
We don’t think like that.
It’s a higher vibration.
We’re making the best we can make, to the best of our ability, out of love and devotion.
I’ve not been making things to the best of my ability. I’ve not written from a place of love and devotion. But out of discipline.
This doesn’t mean I won’t be publishing infrequently. Don’t forget I write every day. It just means the arbitrary Thursday deadline will be lifted, and I will publish when I feel like I’ve written the best essay, to the best of my ability, out of love and devotion.
Speak soon.